People are funny. It’s impossible to please everyone all the time, yet we spend a lot of our time and energy trying to please people. We go to great lengths to make sure we fit in by how we dress, talk, and behave. We would rather betray who we are than be rejected. There’s little that compares to being alone and surrounded by people.
While there is nothing wrong with appropriate social graces (wipe your mouth and keep your elbows off the table, TYVM), when our need for approval becomes an addiction, then we have a problem.
At Bethesda alone and surrounded
In John 5:1-17, Jesus healed a man who had been waiting by the pool of Bethesda for thirty-eight years. I can’t imagine what he went through during those years of sitting by the pool. He obviously wasn’t alone because when asked by Jesus if he wanted to be healed, he replied in verse 7 (NASB):
“Sir I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.”
He was alone and surrounded by people. This wasn’t uncommon back then (or even today) as the disabled were marginalized. They were relegated to the periphery of society, sitting by the pool, waiting for the water to be stirred so they could have a chance to be healed and be accepted into society.
Jesus knew this man had been waiting a long time, so he asked him a question I find interesting: “Do you want to be healed?” I find this curious, as it seems evident from the passage that he wanted to be healed; he was sitting by the water, where he had a chance to be healed.
But his answer is equally, if not more, interesting: “I have no one to put me in the pool.” No one in the community had taken enough notice of him to help him reach the water. He was alone and surrounded by people.
The Sabbath police
Jesus was not bound by approval addiction and instructed the man to take up his bed and walk. However, it was the Sabbath, which complicated matters. On the Sabbath, people were prohibited from performing any kind of work, including healing others or carrying their beds.
There must have been Sabbath police around because immediately after his healing, the man was confronted by the Jews who challenged him on the legality of carrying his bed on the Sabbath. For the first time in thirty-eight years, this man was walking and had the chance of being accepted into society. He was quick to say, “The one who healed me” was at fault.
People are fickle
Jesus later found the man whom he had healed and warned him to toe the line by saying, “See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.” As soon as Jesus said those words, this man, who seems to have forgotten his thirty-eight years of being alone and surrounded by people who wouldn’t help him, runs to tell the Jews that Jesus was the one who healed him.
People are fickle. At one moment, you won’t mean anything to them because you don’t fit in, and the next moment, you become their primary focus because it suits them.
I’ve said it many times, fitting in is overrated.
Quick to turn
This tendency, this need we all have to fit in, can pressure us into doing things we wouldn’t otherwise do. While the Bible doesn’t tell us whether the man rejoiced after his healing, I’m sure he was overwhelmed. It also doesn’t say whether he had been disabled his entire life; it only tells us that he had been in that condition for thirty-eight years. Perhaps he was an older man who had once been healthy and later became ill, or maybe an accident left him unable to walk.
But his need to be accepted into society overshadowed his joy. He was as quick to turn on Jesus as Jesus was to heal him.
He didn’t want to be alone and surrounded by people any longer.
Desperate to fit in and ready to betray
This story repeats itself in many different forms throughout the Gospels. Even though they had seen or experienced miracles themselves, people were quick to turn on Jesus. They didn’t want to risk being on the outskirts of their communities; they were all desperate to fit in, even at the expense of betraying the One Who healed them.
For this reason, the fickle nature of mankind, Jesus didn’t invest Himself in being accepted. Instead, He invested Himself in obeying His Father’s will. This is what gave Him clarity of purpose throughout His life on earth.
We don’t get the message
You’ve probably heard the saying that insanity is doing the same thing again and again while expecting a different outcome. If that is true, then trying to please people is risky business. People, including us, can be fickle. Our emotions shift quickly, sometimes as fast as the wind changes direction.
But we keep trying to please people, and it becomes a task without end. One day, we find ourselves on the “right” side of their emotions. The next day, we are not.
The cycle repeats itself over and over. And we don’t get the message.
Jesus got the message that we fail to grasp. While His mission was to save people, He stayed the course of His assignment because He knew what was in people’s hearts.
Understanding that pleasing people can’t be our assignment helps us to serve them better. Expecting people to be at peace with us when they aren’t even at peace with themselves is unfair.
People give out what they have inside
A person can only give out what they have inside of them. Jesus understood that people who are apart from Him can’t give them more than what they have: brokenness. It’s reasonable to assume then that people will project that brokenness on those around them in an attempt to deal with the pain they feel internally.
So, Jesus understood the inner workings of the human heart. He knew people would cheer for the healing but turn on the Healer when society challenged it. This understanding gave Him clarity: His priority was to please the Father. This and only this was his goal. This naturally would lead to conflict because people are…fickle.
Jesus’ focus and understanding kept Him steady on His mission.
And He who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to Him.
John 8:29 (NASB)
As Jesus did what pleased the Father, He knew He was not alone. In the same way, as we walk closer to the Lord and set our hearts on pleasing Him, we will never be alone and surrounded by people.
Alone and surrounded but pleasing the Father
What’s your focus? Where do you spend your energy? Do you feel as if you can’t please anyone? If you do, you are not the only one. Jesus lived His life both alone and surrounded by people. The way He stayed the course is the same way we can stay the course: by seeking to please the Father. This takes the pressure off of expecting people to fulfill our needs or trying to meet theirs in return.
Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to accomplish His work."
John 4:34 (NASB)
If this post encouraged you, you’re welcome to partner with me on A Cultural Shift through Buy Me a Coffee. Your support helps keep A Cultural Shift’s outreach going. I’m truly grateful for you.
Recommended reading:
