Did you go shopping recently? And if you did, what were you shopping for? I went shopping the day before yesterday. It wasn’t a shopping trip for enjoyment but for groceries. If there’s anything I don’t like to do, it’s buying groceries. I sometimes think I’d rather walk over hot coals than head to the grocery store. It’s probably because I’ve been grocery shopping my whole life, and I’m tired of planning meals 🤣. But I soldier on through the produce and poultry, hoping for inspiration.
I don’t mind shopping for items other than groceries. Although I’m not a big shopper, if I have the money and need something, I’m willing to take a little time to shop. Typically, I’m done within an hour.
My first and only Black Friday shopping experience
Many years ago, while I was in the USA during the Thanksgiving holiday, I experienced shopping on “Black Friday.” Black Friday shopping is a phenomenon that has spread to many countries, but it originated in the United States. On the Friday after Thanksgiving (Thanksgiving is the last Thursday of November), stores drastically reduce their prices to kick off the Christmas shopping season.
We had just come from celebrating Thanksgiving with our extended family. That year, we all stayed at a small retreat center in Florida. We fished, cooked, played games, and of course watched football. The setting was quiet, and no one else was around besides our family. It was a special time that left me with sweet memories.
A Black Friday shopping trip had been planned for the ladies in advance. I was excited to get away for a couple of nights, experience the hype surrounding Black Friday, and spend quality time with my family. Since I had never been on a Black Friday shopping spree before, I was curious to see firsthand what all the excitement was about.
We left the next day after our family celebration. Black Friday shopping usually starts around 9:00 p.m. First, we checked into our hotel, had dinner, and enjoyed each other’s company, apart from the guys.
The magical hour of 9:00 p.m.
For those of you who know me, by 9:00 p.m., I’m usually well on my way to sleepy-land. I’ll play a few rounds of a word game or read, but I’m not a late-night person by any stretch of the imagination. From my youth, I’ve been an “early to bed, early to rise” kind of person. My parents never gave me a curfew because they knew that I would be home before 9:00, if not before.
In some ways, I guess I was a pretty good teenager. But that’s fodder for another post.
By the time we rousted ourselves up from dinner to go shopping, it was a little past the magic hour of 9:00 p.m. The shopping center we chose for that particular outing was packed with people. As my husband would say, “You couldn’t stir them with a stick.” Bargains were to be had in every store. Some places marked their prices down by 75% just for a short while in an attempt to draw people in.
So. Much. Stuff.
There was so much stuff. Everywhere. Clothes, shoes, handbags, watches, makeup, perfume, sporting equipment, you name it, and it was on sale.
Tables were piled high, racks were crammed full, and shelves were bending under the weight of merchandise. The sheer volume was overwhelming. It was a bargain-hunter’s paradise or perhaps just chaos in disguise.
For me, it was complete sensory overload. After all, I’ve spent most of my life in East and Southeast Africa, where shopping is done in open markets. Sure, there are sections for clothing and household items, but no one has ever heard of Black Friday shopping in those parts of the world.
I wasn’t used to the bright lights, loud noises, and frantic energy surrounding me. Customers were eagerly grabbing items, trying to take advantage of the deals. Back in Africa, when I saw people reaching for goods in the market, it was for food, not for Black Friday bargains. The stark contrast hit me hard, and my emotions were swirling in response to this difference.
I’m not a Black Friday shopper
I didn’t have much money to spend, but I did manage to pick up a shirt and a handbag, both of which I ended up using for years. Every time I used them, I’d chuckle at the memory. To get that shirt, I had to push my way through throngs of women, all on a mission. There were a few token husbands and boyfriends standing nearby, dutifully holding bags.
That night, I made a decision: I’m not a Black Friday shopper.
Give me online shopping any day of the week. I know for a fact that here in South Africa, we have our own version of “Insta Cart” with the local grocery stores. I may have to learn how to use them!
Life doesn’t go as planned
Unlike most people who shop on Black Friday, I had no list. I was, for the most part, a spectator that night. I saw a grown woman crying because she didn’t get the deal she wanted. Other customers were shouting. Things didn’t turn out as planned because they weren’t exactly as advertised.
Life, like shopping, rarely goes as planned. Tires go flat, milk spoils, appointments get canceled, and sometimes the grocery store is out of the one brand of soap you actually like.
We can make all the plans we want, but we can be sure of one thing: there will be times when those plans fall apart.
The same thing is true of the words I speak. They will not return to me empty. They make the things happen that I want to happen, and they succeed in doing what I send them to do.
Isaiah 55:11 NCV
God’s plans, unlike ours, always accomplish exactly what He intends. Nothing can stop what He has planned.
But I’ll admit, there have been times when I’ve acted like a Black Friday shopper in my relationship with God. I pick and choose, even shove my way forward, grabbing at what I want from life, then try to make God’s Word fit into my plans. I want Him to bless what I want to do. And if things don’t go my way, I cry “foul” because my entitled feelings are hurt, as God has not proven faithful to my plans.
But that’s not how this life of faith is meant to be.
Give-and-take or trust?
I’ve learned that truly living for God means fully dedicating ourselves to Him. It doesn’t simply involve a give-and-take relationship where we barter our obedience to God. We must recognize that God, as our Father, sees the bigger picture and understands the paths we need to take to reach our destination. You might wonder, Where are we going? Ultimately, we are headed into His presence when we shuffle off this mortal coil.
But until we enter into the city we are journeying to, we’re to busy ourselves with our Father’s business here on earth. Living this way makes our path clear and relieves us from having to “keep up with the Joneses” and spend our days worrying about tomorrow.
What will I wear?
What will I eat?
Where will we live?
Am I fitting in with society?
Freedom to choose
At the same time, our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to live like robots. He gave us the freedom to choose whether or not to serve Him. It’s simple enough for us to say we serve God, but do we serve Him 100%? Do we really trust Him to the point where we let His decisions rule our lives? I know I’ve struggled with this when facing difficult moments. My heart may lean one way, but I know God’s heart in the matter leans another way.
But then I’m reminded of the scripture that says:
Place your trust in the Eternal; rely on Him completely; never depend upon your own ideas and inventions. Give Him the credit for everything you accomplish, and He will smooth out and straighten the road that lies ahead.
Proverbs 3:5, 6 VOICE
If I truly trust the Lord, I will understand that His interest is in me. He doesn’t want me for what I can do for Him. As Psalm 50:9-11 VOICE says, “I will not accept the best bull from your fields or goats from your meadow, for they are already Mine, just as the forest beast and the cattle grazing over a thousand hills are Mine. Every bird flying over the mountains I know; every animal roaming over the fields belongs to Me.”
God doesn’t need anything from me, nor does He require me to give Him anything, because everything already belongs to Him. What He desires most is to walk alongside me, to guide me, and to lead me exactly where I need to go. He wants the best for me, but I am the one who struggles to believe that His intentions are good.
If we can trust that God’s plans for us are better than our own, we will understand that He isn’t in our lives to manipulate us for His own gain. God isn’t interested in taking away from us or making our lives less fulfilling; He is always working to add to our lives and to do us good, not harm.
What does your trust-o-meter say?
What does your “trust-o-meter” of God say? To what level have you believed that His ways are better than yours? And that He loves you and only wants what is best for you?
If you’re like me, you want to live in that level of trust but sometimes find yourself unwilling to let go. The questions of what might happen linger in your mind, and instead of running to God, you find yourself running to reason.
I wondered why
It can be difficult for us to understand what God is doing in our lives. I’ve faced that time and again with the path that He has led me on. When we first left our families to serve abroad, I wondered, ‘Why me?’ When God didn’t release us to leave Burundi during the war, I wondered why. And now that I live apart from my grown children and grandchildren, I sometimes wonder why.
But God has proven Himself to me more times than I can count. While His plans for my life have often left me with question marks, I’ve learned to trust Him and His love for me. I don’t have to shove my way through life like I’m on a Black Friday shopping spree.
He is good.
He is kind.
And He loves me and wants what is best for me.
