We decided to stay together for always. So far, always has led us to 41 years. That’s how long I will have been married to Jamie in July this year, 2025 (spoiler alert: I will post a very sappy anniversary blog). I can’t say that our life has been boring.
We have crossed continents and lived in nine different countries, seven of which are in Africa. The other two are the USA and France. They say that of the top five most stressful things to do in life, moving is number three on the list. We have faced stress and hardship more times than I can count, but we’ve stayed together (and still love and like one another) until today. That doesn’t mean that we haven’t had challenges; we have. It just means we decided long ago to always love each other. We decided to stick together no matter what might come our way.
That decision has been tested. Living in a high-stress environment like we have for as long as we have has meant our love for one another was bound to be tested. From early marriage issues (you don’t squeeze the toothpaste right) to the pressures of raising children cross-culturally, we have taken some serious exams. Whenever we felt the stress rise to uncomfortable proportions, God gave us the grace to remember our decision to love and honor one another.
We decided to love until death do us part
The head-over-heels love that first drew us together has never gone away. I remember when I fell for Jamie (and I fell hard, I’m telling you), I made sure to “show up” wherever he was. Most of our activities were around church activities anyway, so I predicted his whereabouts with relative accuracy. Going to church and bumping into him “by chance” in those days was effortless, and I think he felt the same.
We both loved God and missions, and it didn’t take long before we found ourselves serving as missionaries in Africa. Over the years that followed, our love grew deeper and matured under the stresses of life. Oh yes, my heart can still pitter-patter when I see Jamie. But the pitter-patter has gone from a young and naive love to “Wow, we have seen an amazing life together. I love you now and always.”
We’re together until death do us part. We have consciously tried to remember that long ago, we decided to love one another.
Inconvenient decisions
When I first met Jesus as a child and then jumped feet-first into serving Him as a teenager, I never felt I could do enough for Him. Even when something wasn’t planned, like helping someone get to church, I was ready to help. Spontaneity didn’t faze me; I thrived on it. I was there whenever anything fell through the cracks or help was needed.
Our church used to hold all-night prayer meetings. And people would sign up for different hours to ensure that 24 hours of continuous prayer were taking place. I purposely looked for the empty hours. I made my schedule work around my commitment to God. It wasn’t convenient, but I was so in love with Him that it didn’t matter.
Decisions to love under stress
As with any relationship, our relationship with God can also suffer under the stresses of life. We will slowly drift apart if we don’t spend time with our friends, loved ones, and God.
Occasionally, I wonder if I’m as spontaneous or available to God as I once was. Or am I being selfish and expecting Him to be the one who always gives and not me? Have we forgotten that there was a time when we decided to love Him? Of course, God is our Father, so He will always be the first to take a step towards us. But if we constantly step away from Him, resisting His gentle nudging on the inside, one day we’ll find ourselves out of love with Him.
"This is what the Lord says:‘I remember how faithful you were to me when you were a young nation. You loved me like a young bride. You followed me through the desert, a land that had never been planted.'" Jeremiah 2:2 NCV
If you are distant from God, step back and breathe. God is never too busy or frustrated to sit down with us. He makes time; why not respond in kind? He’s never one to shut the door and give up on any of us. On the contrary, He’s waiting and looking for us to return. It’s time to take our seats next to Him so we can pick up where we left off.
Beautiful 😍 🤩 👌
Thank you ☺️