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Life is messy. Most of the time, it’s messy because people, either ourselves or those around us, have muddied the waters. So, I’ve been studying relationships (again) because from our relationships flow the rivers of our lives. The streams of life will either run clear or muddy, depending on the quality of our relationships. There’s a verse from the Bible that has become a modern-day saying that applies here. I don’t think many of those who use it know it comes from the Bible: “Bad company corrupts good habits” (see 1 Corinthians 15:33). This is how the streams of life are muddied.

We strive to either exclude ourselves or fit in. Unfortunately, we often try to fit in quietly to avoid making waves. This is the logic we follow to avoid muddying the waters. But this logic is counterproductive. Instead of keeping the water clear, fitting in stirs up the sediment and clouds the waters of our lives. The danger we face when trying to fit in with the crowd increases the chances of our being betrayed or misunderstood. There’s little that hurts like being betrayed or misunderstood. When someone has betrayed or misunderstood us, and negative things are said about or done to us as a result, the pain is exquisite.

Isolation muddies the streams of life

It’s this fear of pain that pushes us to either withdraw from relationships or conform. If we withdraw, we risk becoming isolated. God never meant for any of us to live alone. When creating the world, God said, “It is not good that man should be alone” (see Genesis 2:18). I understand the context here is when God created Eve for Adam. However, the emphasis on relationships in this verse applies to everyone.

Isolation will muddy the streams of life.

Not isolation or conformation, but transformation

At the same time, when we conform, we are in as much danger (or more) as when we isolate ourselves. The book of Romans gives us clear instructions on God’s approach to living in this world. His answer to living in the world isn’t found in isolation or conformity. It is found in transformation.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Romans 12:1,2 NKJV

Conformity drives us, even forces us, to accept society’s standards. This weakens our position in the world for God. If we live like the world, what is the point of being a Christian? There needs to be a difference in us that speaks to those around us louder than an hour-long Sunday morning sermon. The only way for this to happen is for us to be transformed. This transformation occurs when we change our mindset and renew our minds. This renewal happens when we change what we put into our minds.

This changing of our minds takes time and effort. I discuss the “how” of this in another post, titled “Your relationship with God: how to grow where you want to go.” Check it out for some deeper detail on the nitty-gritty of cultivating and growing in a relationship with God.

In any case, it shouldn’t be a surprise to us that our thought patterns, which took a whole lifetime to build, will take time to change. Never give up on renewing your mind and letting yourself be transformed. It will change your life if you let it.

God wants us, warts and all

The lie that we’ve been fed, and believe, about God is that He is not interested in connecting with us. And if He does connect with us, we think He will punish us for our bad behavior. Because we can’t fit into His absolute holy standard, we push Him away as much as we push away from those who hurt us.

I am convinced that God wants us, warts and all, full stop.

Pride and the streams of life

But let’s face it, we’ve all tried at one time or another to fit into an impossible standard we perceive that God has set for us. There is inside each one of us an acute awareness of sin (see Romans 2:14,15). In response to this, we will either try to overcome on our own or resign ourselves to “this is how I am.” Either way, we are attempting to deal with the sin issue on our own, apart from God. This, too, will muddy the streams of life through our pride.

It is our pride that keeps us from surrendering to God in the midst of life’s streams. We want to be right and stand on our own two feet, apart from Him or any of His help.

Once and for all

As Christians, we like to say that everything is “covered in the blood.” Meaning that all sin is whisked away instantly when we are born again. While I understand the origin of this perception, it is not totally accurate theologically. Let me explain because there’s more to this than meets the eye.

When Jesus died for our sins, the Bible says that He died once and for all. He died for the sins of all time, even the ones that have yet to be committed. Jesus doesn’t have to come back every few generations and repeat the process. All sins have been dealt with once because once was good enough for all.

"First, Christ said, 'You did not want animal sacrifices or sin offerings or burnt offerings or other offerings for sin, nor were you pleased with them' (though they are required by the law of Moses). Then he said, 'Look, I have come to do your will.' He cancels the first covenant in order to put the second into effect. For God’s will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time."

Hebrews 10:8-10 NLT

Some preachy verbiage

This being the case, what keeps us mired in the muddy waters of sin? It is not that we want to be sinful before the Lord. None of us wants that. All we have to do to be forgiven is to receive His forgiveness. Receiving forgiveness is not easy when we’ve tried long and hard on our own to be good enough.

Without, excuse the preachy verbiage here, revelation of God’s love for us it is nearly impossible to receive His forgiveness. How can you believe someone forgives you if you don’t believe that they love you? We are accustomed to earning privilege. Receiving forgiveness freely often doesn’t come easily to us. Aren’t we supposed to do something? No. We actually can’t do anything to earn that forgiveness. This is why Jesus had to come.

"Under the old covenant, the priest stands and ministers before the altar day after day, offering the same sacrifices again and again, which can never take away sins. But our High Priest offered himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time. Then he sat down in the place of honor at God’s right hand."

Hebrews 10:11,12 NLT

The streams of life muddied with shame

People have always looked for a way to earn forgiveness. Some are trapped in self-imposed isolation, believing God doesn’t want to have anything to do with them. Others drink their guilt away, and there are even those whose pain and guilt bleed over into self-harm or harming others. The streams of life are muddied with the shame of sin. They can’t believe that God would truly love them.

Jesus died, but didn’t He die for others that are better, more suited for forgiveness?

No, there’s not one of us who is better suited for forgiveness than another. Sin has held all of us in its grasp. There is only one antidote for the poison of sin, and that is receiving the forgiveness God has readied for us in Jesus’ sacrifice.

"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard."

Romans 3:23 NLT

Our Father

Since, as we see from the verses above, Jesus has paid the price for sin because we couldn’t reach God’s standard, why not give up trying to achieve what is impossible to achieve alone? God wants to be more than a random phantom-God to you and me. He wants to be our Father and connect with us as a family.

In Luke 12:22-32, Jesus teaches us how to manage our money and earthly possessions. I think He elaborated as much as He did because we are greedy and fearful creatures. Greedy because we can never have enough, and afraid of not having enough. Both sentiments are equally destructive and keep us from trusting God as our Father. Verses 29-32 say:

“And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom."

The outcome will be marvelous

God’s got you when the streams of life turn into rushing rivers. Don’t struggle under the weight of something that has already been dealt with. Allow yourself to receive the gift of forgiveness. The outcome of that will be marvelous. Not only will you be out from underneath an impossible weight, but you will also be part of a worldwide family. You’ll never be alone in the streams of life again.

God sent Jesus for us so we could be part of the family and call God “Our Father.”