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Tomorrow, July 21, will be our 40th wedding anniversary. We’ve not planned anything, we rarely do. There are reasons we don’t do much on our anniversary, they usually have to do with time and money 🤣. I’m sure many of you can relate! Next week we’ll likely go out for lunch or something. We’re not a complicated couple as married couples go. For holidays and birthdays we usually don’t buy gifts. It’s just not a big deal for us. But, the best marriage advice I could give you is to remember to dance.

Speaking fluently

This doesn’t mean we don’t like gifts, we do. There’s a well-known book full of marriage advice called, “The Five Love Languages” written by Gary Chapman. In the book, he lists five “love languages.” These languages are the main ways people express and receive love. They are as follows: acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. I’ve often said that I can speak all five fluently. All kidding aside, though, I lean towards expressing love through acts of service and quality time. Jamie is geared for words of affirmation. We’ve learned how to communicate well and sometimes it only takes a look or a smile to know what the other is thinking.

Love grows if given the opportunity, and if we dare nurture it, love can develop into something beyond our dreams. I am glad we chose one another. And I’m also glad that we chose to give God room in our marriage. He has made all the difference.

When grocery shopping interferes with anniversaries

A favorite anniversary memory of mine is from when we lived in Blantyre, Malawi. It was 2017 and we had just come home from a trip. It was Friday and it was our 33rd anniversary. But, the laundry needed to be done, we had nothing for dinner, and life was happening. I was tired but got into the car with Jamie and headed for Shoprite, a grocery store. On our way there, Jamie said, “We should do something for our anniversary.” I nodded and loved him all the more for saying so. But it was Friday, he needed to prepare for his Sunday message. “Maybe we can celebrate next week” I said.

We had many errands to run while we were out. I tried to concentrate and complete my “to-do” list, but my mind wasn’t far from our anniversary.

Anniversary cards

From the corner of my eye, as we exited the grocery store after shopping, I saw a display of cards in a small shop. Jamie went into a nearby bank and while he was away, I took the opportunity to see if there were any anniversary cards in the small shop. In that part of the world, occasion-specific cards aren’t easy to find. If you’re lucky enough to find one, it will probably be corny.

The next thing I knew, he was looking straight at me from the opposite side of the store window. I smiled sheepishly. He caught me (he’s hard to surprise). I walked out of the little store feeling a bit down I didn’t find a card.

Dance with me

Suddenly, some old love song began to play over the crackly loudspeakers. I looked at my husband, put my arms around his broad shoulders, and said, “Dance with me.” Neither one of us knows how to dance but he complied and we tried to dance to the music. For a few brief moments the world was ours and my favorite anniversary memory was created. Jamie smiled sweetly at me and our arms wrapped around one another as we swayed to some silly song.

I guess a few people wondered what we were doing but I didn’t care. Lifelong love deserves some moments of its own and for me, one of those moments happened in front of Shoprite at the Chichiri shopping center in Blantyre.

A dance of special moments

Life is a special dance of moments that God has graced us with to enjoy. While our anniversary passed without great observation as far as a night out is concerned, the moments we danced together were more important to me that day than date night could have been.

The music is playing, life is happening, and everything may seem less than special. A successful marriage isn’t built on gifts or big houses. It is built by finding joy in the most average of moments. So, the best marriage advice I can give you is to take your love’s hand and dance.