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The $64,000.00 question whose answer has evaded those asking it for countless generations is why it happened. If we knew why, maybe we would escape future painful experiences.

Ours is a world that goes to great lengths to avoid pain; no one enjoys experiencing it. Why endure it when it can be sidestepped? Some of life’s most profound experiences place us directly in the path of pain. Who wants to face the death of loved ones or the sorrow of them moving far away?

If we fear pain to the extent of avoiding even its appearance, we deprive ourselves of the joy that comes with living. Like you, I have experienced my share of painful moments. I wish I could have escaped those times, but there are moments in life when pain is unavoidable.

I wanted to know why

When my mother passed away in 2008, I couldn’t return from Africa in time to see her before she died. In our last conversation just three days before her passing, she told me on the phone, “I’ll get through this.” The next day, she slipped into a coma and was gone two days later. How I regretted not seeing her one last time before she left us. The pain of her passing was difficult enough; the pain of not being with her to say goodbye was another ache I wish I could have avoided. I wanted to know why it happened.

When my brother Matthew was near death just a few years after my mother’s passing, I promised myself to be with him every minute I could. Having lived away from my family for so long as a missionary in Africa, I wondered if I was even needed. As his homegoing drew ever closer, he made it known to me that he was glad I was around. The most precious memory I have of those difficult days in the hospital was when Matthew asked me, “You’re not leaving, are you?” My reply was, “No, I’m right here.”

Although that experience was painful, I don’t regret going through it. I chose to be there, and I’m so glad I did.

Why did we have to live through it?

When war erupted in Burundi, we chose not to leave. Would we have been wrong to leave? I don’t think so, but we decided to stay with the church members we cherished. It was a nine-year season of painful experiences, watching the nation we had come to love to suffer immensely. We never understood why it happened. It just did, and we lived through it.

At the end of that season, we opted to move on and start again to plant another church. Leaving was very hard; it would have been easier if we hadn’t grown to love the people so much.

Love puts us at risk

Now imagine Jesus. He willingly took the risk of loving us when we were unlovable. He, our Elder Brother (see Romans 8:29), could have avoided the risk of rejection, misunderstanding, and death at the hands of those He came to save. Willingly, He placed Himself in the path of unimaginable pain and sorrow – but He did so because He believed the outcome was worth it.

When I consider that He thinks of me as worthy of His death, I am overcome with wonder. I wonder how I could have been worth everything He endured, yet He believes I am worth it. He risked everything for me because He loves me.

I’ve heard it said that the pain we feel at the loss of someone we love equals the measure of love we have for them. Jesus felt great pain. His loss was greater than we can imagine. Not only did He experience physical death (see Matthew 27:50), but He also felt the absence of His Father’s presence, who had never been apart from Him until that moment. He was crucified (see Matthew 27:46). He experienced total and complete abandonment and rejection, a spiritual death so that we wouldn’t have to.

We may never know why

Because of Him, we can receive the forgiveness and acceptance of a Father whose love is boundless. Now, it is up to us: What will we choose—to become a part of the family or remain estranged? The choice is ours, for He wants us to become willing members of the family, not forced servants.

The pattern Jesus set for us in His sacrifice gives meaning to the pains we experience. Every pain, every scar, has its meaning. It may be that those reasons aren’t going to be revealed in our lifetime. We may never know why it happened. But the reason doesn’t matter. When we can let go of why, we can go forward. Those who come after us will stand on the shoulders of our experiences.

As a family, we read the biography of Adoniram Judson (I highly recommend this book; click here to preview), and we shed tears while reading about his lifelong journey. Who knew that his son, Edward Judson, would be the one to pen the following:

This is the wonder of the God we serve: He transforms our pain into stepping stones for those who come after us, enabling their success. The way He does this is His miracle, but it follows the pattern established with His Son. His suffering has granted us the ultimate success: becoming part of His family. His pain became our success. Now, we can do the same.

https://judsoncollege.com/for-the-cause-of-christ-a-biography-of-adoniram-judson