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Growing up, I thought about my future. I wondered what I would do, where I would go, and who was going to be my husband. I had the usual dreams: to get married, have kids, and have a job that I at least tolerated. Like many others, I hoped that by the time my children grew up, I would be settled into a home where I would eventually retire. I wondered, “How much is this going to cost?”

I thought I was ready to pay

Life, as it has turned out for me, has been far from normal. Competing for my attention and my “normal” desires of what a regular family looks like were my desires to see God take me on an amazing adventure. In my high school years, I became one of “those” Christians who dreamed big dreams about what God could do through me. I was very well aware of the fact that alone I didn’t amount to much. But, my relationship with the Lord was front and center of everything and my inabilities faded in the wonder of His great ability. I knew He could do and would do anything I dared to dream for Him. The cost didn’t matter to me. I was ready to pay whatever was required, at least I thought I was ready.

First stop, Haiti

When I was a senior in high school, the senior class at my school took what was known as a “senior trip.” My sister’s class, for example, went on a trip to Mexico. Two years later, my senior class prepared to visit Europe. Instead of anticipating going to Europe like a normal senior, I wasn’t interested, not in the least. I couldn’t explain it to anyone. I knew my parents would have found a way to pay for my way had I wanted to go. Maybe they were silently relieved that I wasn’t interested in seeing Europe. They didn’t have to ask me “How much is this going to cost?”

The youth group at our home church planned a short mission trip to Haiti at nearly the same time as the senior trip was to take place. Immediately, I knew what I wanted to do instead of going to Europe. Instead of going on a normal senior trip, I went to Haiti. I slept on a concrete floor with no mattress. I tried to cushion the floor with blankets, but they didn’t help. Yet, I didn’t mind. My adventure had begun and I didn’t want it to end. The cost didn’t bother me at all. Concrete floors? Bring them on.

I was suspicious of how much it was going to cost

The ten days in Haiti were spent serving at an orphanage and visiting local churches and ministries. We toured the city of Port-au-Prince and a few outlying villages. It was hot. There were bugs. The food was different and I found myself at home. When I stepped onto the plane to return to Florida, I suspected that flight would not be my last overseas journey.

That suspicion turned into reality and not many years after that journey, I found myself boarding plane after plane as a career missionary. This life has been far from the normal dreams that competed for my attention as a young girl. Slowing down is not an option at any time in the near future. Somehow my husband and I find the energy to keep dreaming, keep going, and keep doing. If you ask us how much this has cost us today, our answer would be a lot. But, it is one we would pay over and over again.

The cost of adventure

Some parts of this life have cost a great deal, and I’m not talking about plane tickets (which are expensive). The cost of this adventure and being witness to what God has done in the past 37+ years has been high. It’s one I’ve had to pay in many installments. Not only does this life cost you financially, but it also costs you emotionally and spiritually. Paying this kind of price is an unpopular message in our day and age of building a “better” life than what our parents had. We always assume “doing better” means having more: more money, a bigger house, better cars, and more friends.

I believe that “doing better” means doing the will of God. The cost is high, but when we pay it, we do better. What could be better than following the call of God no matter where it may lead? Around the world or across the street? I pray my kids will do better and go farther than I have. I pray they follow God better than I have, and that they see more of His power than I have for I know He is the Key to their success. He is the only One Who can keep them secure in this complicated world we find ourselves in.

Nothing left in my wallet

How much have I had to pay? What has this life cost me? A lot when you look at it from a natural perspective. Financial considerations aside (and there are many), I was separated from my parents and a way of life that I was accustomed to. I also had to learn multiple languages and cultures. My eyes have seen war, my heart has felt rejection, and my children have grown and left the nest. At times it has felt as if there was nothing left in my wallet to give until God asked for more. The cost is high.

I learned as I lived life in step with God, that the life He was giving me was much better than anything I could build on my own. I’ve certainly not understood the twists and turns on this road we have traveled, but somehow we have made it to every destination along the way.

Not lucrative but it is expensive

The missionary life may not appear to be a successful one in the eyes of one’s peers or the eyes of others in this world. It is not lucrative but it is expensive. Life is always lived “on the edge.” We’ve never lacked, though. Our children have always had clothes, food, and schooling. However, we have often gone without the “creature comforts” everyone hopes to enjoy. There have been times when I’ve wondered if I will ever have paid enough “dues” to enjoy basing out of a permanent home or having more finance to help to get the work done.

In those moments I remember, our business (all of our business) on this earth is not about how much we save, how many homes we own, or how comfortable our lives can be. Our business has eternal benefits. We are laying up heavenly treasures that last, the souls of men and women, for God’s will is for all to come to know Him (see Matt. 18:13-15).

I want to do more than just what is required, so there’s a price to pay. And I welcome it. Let’s go.