No one likes to be left out or ignored. I’m amazed by the lengths we go to to be accepted. Cultural acceptance is the filter we use to gauge the importance of something to us. And this happens gradually, so gradually that we may not even be aware of it. We aren’t aware we’re left out until exclusion stares us in the face and challenges our decisions, accomplishments, and values. Those things that vie for our attention, time, and approval demand that we bow to the pressure of their importance.
Without the appearance of what is culturally acceptable in our lives (money, popularity, and security for example) we risk exclusion.
Left out and feeling worthless
It’s amazing the lengths we go to the sell ourselves in order to appear worthy of acceptance. There was a time in my life when I was part of a networking group. In the group’s meetings, everyone was expected to refer and have people be referred to them by others in the group. This was for the purpose of growing one another’s businesses. The principle sounded logical. And since I needed new business, I was hopeful that this group would bring help my way.
Getting entrance into the group was a process. Somehow, I managed to pay the hefty fee and was approved. Each week, I had to give a short minutes-long speech that would hopefully convince other members to help me. There was even a trophy that circulated among those few (usually a select few in the group) who gave the best speech. The winner had his/her pictures taken and uploaded to social media. Defeated, I never won the trophy and had few referrals. I made the decision after a year to let my membership go. No one likes to be defeated and I felt utterly defeated. My speeches on what a good job I could do seemed to be all for nothing.
Reflecting on that experience, I see how that scenario, although extreme, plays itself out almost daily in our lives. Society lures us in and we try and gain acceptace by noting our achievements. And, those achievements, which one day are acceptable and the next day useless as society changes, do nothing to secure our worth. And no one likes to feel worthless.
Boasting is excluded
Romans 3:27a ESV “Then what becomes of our boasting? It is excluded…”
There is a group, one that I’m deeply thankful to be part of. As a member of this group, I’m not required to make a flowery speech about how good I am at what I do. The speeches given at that group are always about the Founder Who takes all of His qualifications and gives them freely to those who request entrance. Contrary to society’s rules, no one is ever turned away or denied entrance because of their personal flaws. Were our entrance based on our accomplishments, each application would be marked, “Denied.”
Nevertheless, by grace and mercy, we are accepted without prejudice. The only exclusionary clause is boasting about ourselves—that gets left at the door, and with it, the pressure to perform. All members are in the same category: saved by faith. The only requirement is accepting the free entry offered by the Founder.
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