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The hardest part of finishing is starting. As in writing a post, I find it difficult to begin. Experts in writing (there are many) say that the “hook” is the most important part of the first paragraph (click here to read about the “hook”). You have to hook the audience so they will read to the end. It’s a solid principle, and I do try to interest those reading with a good introductory paragraph. Some turn out better than others and have higher ratings. But no matter the final outcome, starting is the hardest part. I can’t finish unless I start.

A rude awakening

I remember the morning our son (child #3) was born. I woke up early in the morning to a strong contraction. We had a digital clock on the bedside table. And when my eyes opened with that first contraction, I noticed it was 6:11 a.m. It didn’t take long for me to let everyone in the house know that it was time to go to the hospital. After a harrowing 20+ minute drive to the hospital, we arrived at the emergency room entry. A young hospital attendant came to the car with a wheelchair. Me, in mid-contraction, wondered how I was supposed to get out of the car and sit in a wheelchair. Somehow I managed to shimmy my way into the chair. “Hurry, hurry!” Was all I could say.

The nurses at the reception didn’t seem alarmed. They see all kinds of women coming in to give birth. I’m sure they were used to seeing women in pain and were not worried about me. I was sent to the labor and delivery ward, was given a gown, and told that a nurse would come check me soon. Trying to be polite, I said in a high-pitched voice, “You better check quickly.”

The hardest part, I didn’t think I could do it again

Sensing I was not kidding, a nurse came in a few minutes later as I was struggling to get into the bed. She examined me and said, “She’s ready; move her to delivery!” Once in the delivery room, I turned toward Jamie (hubs) in between contractions and said, “I don’t think I can do this again.” To which he replied, “You don’t have any choice; you have to.”

Well that wasn’t helpful.

But he was right, and I was angry that he was right. My doctor came in just in time to catch our son, a mere 21 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. Just moments after he was born, I was offered breakfast, and Jamie sat next to me and read a newspaper. The crazy two-ish hours since my first contraction came to an end as suddenly as it began. That was a difficult process to start, but I managed to finish.

That baby, Stephen, is now 31 years old. They say (whoever they are) that a woman forgets the pain of childbirth. Maybe there are women like that, but I’m not one of those. I remember for sure! However, the pain I felt that day meant nothing in light of the beauty of a baby being born. So, in a sense, it is forgotten.

The hardest part of starting is facing fear

Starting is difficult. Sometimes, like in my wild birth story above, we don’t have a choice. The contractions came, and I was forced to finish. But there are times that we do have a choice in the matter. We often procrastinate out of fear of failure. Fearing that the outcome won’t be exactly as we had envisioned. No one wants to be disappointed.

God has not destined that we live in fear of failure. A failure is only a failure if we don’t learn from it. If we persist in making the same mistake over and over again without learning, then that is unfortunate. But even then, God doesn’t label you as a failure. God sees you through the eyes of a Father. If you could only see how much He values you.

I recently heard it said that God loves you so much that He would rather have you with all of your sins and shortcomings than not have you at all. It is His goodness (see Romans 2:4) that leads us and empowers us to live beyond the shortcomings and sins that hold us back.

Let that sink in.

No ulterior motives

The hardest part of living free is freeing yourself from the pursuit of perfection and the angst of self-destruction. It’s almost easier, when we feel we have fallen short of a standard, to reject the goodness and kindness of God because we feel we aren’t deserving. God’s love for us isn’t determined by how good we are. He is good to us and kind to us because He loves us. He has no ulterior motives. God doesn’t manipulate; He is straightforward. People may have ulterior motives, but God doesn’t. He chooses to love us knowing that we’ll never fit His standard of holiness alone.

Enter Jesus into the equation. Together with Him as our Elder brother (see Hebrews 2:17) we are now part of God’s family. God is our Father, and He looks for ways to be kind to us.

”O Lord You have given me these wonderful promises just because you want to be kind to me…for when you grant a blessing, Lord, it is an eternal blessing.”

1 Chronicles 17:19,27 TLB

God love you, warts and all

The hardest part of finishing is starting. It is difficult to start, but it is harder in the long run to leave things unfinished. The first step in starting on the journey towards peace is to leave striving for perfection behind and believe that God loves you—warts and all. Leave fearing failure and anxiety over what should have, could have, or would have been. Exchange those fears and anxieties for peace and acceptance.

You might be thinking that writing this is easier than living it. In response to that, I’d say that it’s harder to live in a perpetual state of feeling like a failure and full of angst. The energy we expend feeling those emotions takes work and has no payoff. It’s like a hole that can never be filled.

It also takes work to change minds that have believed one way for a long time. Both are hard, but only one has a good payoff in exchange for the work we put in. You have to pick your hard. I know what I have chosen:

Unfortunately, we have bought into the lies that society and culture feed us. The process happens insidiously, almost invisibly, as we live from day to day. A little pressure here to look a certain way, some more pressure here to be like everyone else, and soon we find ourselves bound with cords not of our own choosing. Breaking out of this world’s mindset and the cords that have wrapped around us takes work, but the payoff is peace. And the value of peace is worth all the effort we can muster.

But remember, you won’t be perfect. God doesn’t want you to be perfect. He wants you to be at peace. Leave the perfect part to Him.