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The list of dos and don’ts in our lives is endless. As our children grow from infants to toddlers, we bombard them with “No, no, no!” Almost everything is off-limits to them. And in true toddler fashion, they will crash through every barrier we try to create. While establishing boundaries for safety and growth, a wise parent will construct healthy boundaries for their children. This creates an atmosphere that helps them understand why those boundaries exist.

But the list of dos and don’ts of life continues. It changes with time. The list for children is different from that for adults. Nevertheless, the list of dos and don’ts persists throughout our lifetimes. There are separate lists of dos and don’ts for work, home, church, and socially.

Employers have specific rules in the workplace that employees are naturally expected to observe. Still, rules will inevitably be broken. Ultimately, some employees will face termination due to their refusal to adhere to these rules. In this scenario, it’s not uncommon for complaints to be filed and damages to be sought. This all happens because the rules were not followed or were violated.

Living in the family of God

Imagine how God feels when He sees the bigger picture and tries to guide us toward what He knows is best for us. But we resist and ignore His guidelines. As we push back, like toddlers or wayward employees, we convince ourselves of the “rightness” of our decisions despite all evidence suggesting we’ve taken a wrong turn. We seek ways to justify our choices because we can’t sue God for damages or lost wages. This causes our relationship with Him to suffer and His once-familiar voice to fade into silence.

God is first and foremost a Father. As our Father, He desires to have a relationship with us, His children. His guidelines are not meant to restrict us for the sake of restriction. Instead, they are intended to protect us from what truly binds us: sin. When we live within His family’s safety, we experience true freedom—freedom from the grip of sin. Unlike a list of dos and don’ts, relationship values are driven by love, which inspires us to please one another. When we love God, we aim to please Him as His children. This love removes any sense of restrictions, allowing us to live freely and comfortably within the family of God.

“Most religious principles don’t liberate us; they confine and enslave us. Most practices and disciplines do more to highlight our futility than they do to empower us for glory.” 

Chris Tiegreen

Turn around here

Several years ago, I was driving in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania, looking for a guest house that someone had recommended. We needed accommodation for friends who were coming to visit, so I set off on an adventure to find it. I was driving a two-door Daihatsu Rugger, which resembled a small jeep, and I had a friend with me to help in the search. As we drove down the dual-carriageway, I started to feel discouraged because we couldn’t locate the guest house. I kept hearing a voice in my mind say, “Turn around here,” but at the same time, I thought, “Let me just go a bit farther.” Since I had already driven this far, I felt I should at least continue a little further.

A short while later, I decided it was time to turn around. I pulled into a turning lane that separated the dual carriageway. When I stopped and was waiting to turn around, I heard a screeching sound and looked in my rear-view mirror. I saw a large Toyota Land Cruiser headed straight for my side of the vehicle. I closed my eyes and braced for impact.

An accident I could have avoided.

The larger vehicle hit me and, from a complete stop, propelled my vehicle into the opposite lane. I opened my eyes and checked on my passenger, who was as fine as I was. Shaken, I sat in my seat momentarily, knowing that I would have to tell Jamie about the accident (this was before cell phone days). Then, we would have to figure out how to pay to fix our vehicle. Yes, we had insurance, but that really didn’t— and still doesn’t —mean much in our part of the world.

Thankfully, no other traffic or pedestrians were involved in the accident. I pushed the heavily dented door open and checked on the status of both vehicles. Mine suffered significant damage. The driver’s door was crushed, as was the body of the vehicle on the driver’s side of the car. However, the Land Cruiser that hit me didn’t appear to have sustained any damage.

Soon after, the police came. They spent about half an hour in their vehicle with the Land Cruiser driver. Then, they took my driver’s license and told me I was at fault. Tears stung the back of my eyes as I arranged to go to the police station. Some weeks of stress followed, spent sorting and cleaning up after this escapade. I cried many tears of regret for not listening to the voice that said, “Turn around here.”

The list of dos and don’ts

Since then, I have tried to listen to God’s last voice and direction because I am not keen on cleaning up when I don’t have to. I have come to understand that I don’t know much at all. I only see a small part of what is happening around me.

God’s Word and His ways are often read like a rulebook that we try to adhere to, much like employees in the workplace. Following God in this manner—like following a list of dos and don’ts—will not liberate us. What we are missing in our pursuit of God is developing a deep relationship with Him. When we finally fall into step with Him, those boundaries no longer bind us. Instead, we eagerly wait for the next step, knowing we cannot possibly take it without His guidance.

No, I don’t know better, which is fine with me. I’m ready for His next direction. Until then, I’m staying put.