I remember when I was younger, time passed slower than it does now that I am older. I can’t (yet) say I’m old. Nor can I say that I’m young. I’m in that strange time of in between. It is during these in between years that one begins to notice that time has begun to run with haste. Not slowly as it did when I was a child at school. Back then, a day at school seemed to take forever to pass. I had better things to do with my time, like watch “Underdog” on TV.
With the passing of every year, I gain a little more perspective.
Another time of in between
One of the harshest realities we face in life is losing loved ones. I lost my father recently and today is his memorial service in Florida. He faced a long and painful illness. His passing meant, for him, freedom. He wan’t trapped any longer in a body that was immobile. The frustration of speechlessness is gone and he is free to worship God without any physical restriction. But for those of us who remain, while rejoicing for his freedom, we struggle with the reality of his absence, as well as the absence of those who have gone before him.
A few years ago, before Dad lost his ability to speak, he asked me to be present when his ashes are buried in his home village in Finland. Of course I agreed. However, today, it feels as if I am in another time of in between.
Perspective keeps me grounded
But perspective helps to keep me grounded. Even though I am now technically an orphan, I am not alone. Although I’m blessed with a loving husband, children, and grandchildren, I too was once someone’s daughter.
The final year-and-a-half of my father’s life were spent in a nursing home. Whenever we traveled to South Florida where he lived, I sat with him every day. Our roles had reversed. He was no longer able to be a shelter for his children or grandchildren. God’s presence during those days was intense is the only way I can explain it. I struggled (and still struggle) with the emotions of being far away when he was so unwell. No, it wasn’t an easy time at all. Every one of us have passed through those times that have helped us gain perspective and wisdom. Those are the times of in between.
Those difficult seasons are harsh. But when the dust begins to settle, the lessons learned in the darkness become our footing for the future.
A Father to carry us in the time of in between
Today I am remembering Dad and the amazing life he lived. An immigrant from post-war Finland, he arrived in the USA with nothing but his youth and God on his side. He worked hard and was able to gain footing in a strange land. It was by no means easy. He had to learn a new culture, language, and way of life. I now understand what he and my mother went through as I, too, have passed that way as well moving to Africa. His time of in between must have been bitter, but from it he gained the perspective he needed to gain a footing in his new home.
Even as we grow older, we still need a Father. We will never outgrow our need for our Father to carry us in the time of in between.
