What are the qualities you value in a best friend? Who is your best friend? Do you have a best friend?
My husband, Jamie, is my best friend. In just a few days we will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. We’ve been together so long that I think he can read my mind sometimes, and vice-versa. We finish one another’s sentences and generally have the same opinion about life. There are a few exceptions that I won’t list that aren’t important except when I bring them up (haha).
My husband knows he has an open door into my life. He knows me better than anyone else. Ours is the kind of relationship that I prayed to have in marriage. With such friendship and familiarity between us, there is something that we both need to guard our hearts from. And that is contempt (disdain, disapproval, or scorn). When you know someone as well as we know one another, it’s easy to view their opinions, ideas, and ways of doing things with contempt since you understand not only their good points but also their frailties.
He is my best friend
Familiarity can be a positive mark in a relationship. I’m not afraid to talk to my husband about anything. I know that he has my best interests at heart. He is my best friend. I’m so familiar with him that I know when I can talk with him. And I know when its not the best time to talk with him. For example, when he is studying on Friday and preparing a message for the weekend (he’s a preacher), I know that it’s not a good time to have a deep discussion about anything.
If, for whatever reason, my attitude towards him shifts and I don’t guard my heart, I can begin to despise him for his way of doing things. I might get upset that he can’t pull away faster or answer me when I want to be answered. Then, that familiarity I have with him, instead of being a positive thing, has turned into something negative. As my husband and as my fellow believer, I need to honor the person God has made him to be and allow room for him to be himself, just as he honors me as his wife and fellow believer.
Honoring others is a priority in all our relationships here on earth. However, even more important than prioritizing our earthly relationships, is prioritizing our relationship with the Lord
“Let me go over with you again exactly what goes on in the Lord’s Supper and why it is so centrally important. I received my instructions from the Master himself and passed them on to you. The Master, Jesus, on the night of his betrayal, took bread. Having given thanks, he broke it and said, ‘This is my body, broken for you. Do this to remember me.’ After supper, he did the same thing with the cup: ‘This cup is my blood, my new covenant with you. Each time you drink this cup, remember me.’ What you must solemnly realize is that every time you eat this bread and every time you drink this cup, you reenact in your words and actions the death of the Master. You will be drawn back to this meal again and again until the master returns. You must never let familiarity breed contempt.” 1 Corinthians 11:23–26 MSG
Familiarity without honor leads to contempt
If we don’t watch ourselves in our relationship with the Lord, we could easily fall into the same trap as the Corinthians in the verses above. Things had taken a drastic downward turn in the Corinthian church. They had turned the Lord’s Supper and church life into a competition. Criticism and divisiveness filled the air, and the Apostle Paul felt stepping in and bringing correction was necessary.
Familiarity – Honor = Contempt
Jesus faced the same issue as He attempted to minister in His hometown:
“Then they scoffed, ‘He’s just a carpenter.' They were deeply offended and refused to believe in Him.” Mark 6:3 NLT
The people in Jesus’ hometown despised His ministry because they were familiar with Him. They knew both his mother and father. They knew he hadn’t studied the law or attended any prestigious center for training on religious affairs. The miracles they had heard of Him performing weren’t enough to change their minds about Him. And they were deeply offended.
Why has God chosen them?
Why is it that when God uses someone we know—a friend or family member—we immediately view him or her with skepticism? Simply because we know where someone comes from doesn’t preclude them from God using them. Perhaps we wonder, secretly or even unconsciously, “Why has God chosen them?” instead of us because our character and gifts are so much better than theirs. When we allow contempt to rule in our hearts to the point that we judge others and the work God is trying to do through them, we stand on shaky ground.
“And He was amazed at their unbelief.” Mark 6:6 NLT
When contempt takes hold and grows, it grows into offense and unbelief; this is how the enemy traps us. Once those attitudes take hold in our lives, our spiritual growth comes to a standstill.
“But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”
Hebrews 11:6 NKJV
Unbelief stands in opposition to faith and stalls us spiritually. Those things we have been fervently praying for will be kept from us as long as we have unbelief reigning in our hearts.
What a catastrophe
I never want to amaze God with my unbelief because I couldn’t receive it from someone I was familiar with or because I became so familiar with God that I didn’t hold my relationship with Him in reverence. What a catastrophe, yes, catastrophe, that would be—that I would keep God’s blessings from coming into my life because I had set myself up as judge and jury over others.
Today, I challenge you to hold your relationship with God and others in reverence. Yes, he can use whomever he wants to use, whenever he wants to use them, and however he wants to use them. I’ve found most of the candidates God calls are what we would consider “disqualified” because of a lack of experience or their human frailties. Those are precisely the ones God uses. And when He uses such incompetent people (like me), He will get all the credit.
