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I rarely travel without my husband and daughter. That is, until this past year-and-a-half when I’ve had to take a couple of trips without them. In February last year, I went to be with my father whose health was declining. When I arrived Stateside (we live in Africa), my three grown children rallied and were with me. It was a bittersweet time. Bitter in that Dad was not well and moved into a nursing home while I was there (he has since passed away). Sweet because I was able to spend time with my grown children.

Then, last October, I flew alone to Malawi to take part in a free community clinic hosted by our church in partnership with Hand of Hope. In five days of clinic, we saw over 6,000 patients and more than 2,000 gave their hearts to Jesus in the process. Again, it was a bittersweet time. Bitter because we were unable to help everyone and had to turn patients away on the final day. Sweet because thousands received treatment and prayer.

When I travel alone it is a bittersweet time

When I travel alone, it helps to see loved ones who I’m usually separated from and it helps to be busy. Even then, it is a bittersweet time. Bitter to be away from my husband and daughter, but sweet when we reunite.

I’m preparing to leave again tomorrow for another free community clinic in Malawi. Tickets are bought, the house has been cleaned, grocery shopping done, and I’ve washed as much laundry as I could. I’ll only be gone a week but I’m already tasting the bitter part of being away. This will be countered by the sweet as soon as I land and the work gets started. Then, as quickly as it started, I’ll come home to my little family.

It’s not good for woman to be alone either

I always say after these trips that I don’t want to be separated again but in all likelihood, one of us will have to travel. Jamie travels a bit more than I do. In the last 12 months he has made three trips without us. Combined with my two excursions, we have been apart five times in the past 18 months. I’ve read in Genesis where it says that it’s not good for man to be alone. I would add to that and say it’s not good for a woman either! 😅

The longest we were ever apart was in 1986. Jamie went to Zaire (now the Democratic Republic of Congo) to serve with the ministry of Ralph and Shirley Hagemeier for two months. Our firstborn was not quite one year old and I didn’t feel comfortable taking him so far away for so long.

How things have changed! Since then, I’ve traveled the globe with all my kids in tow.

When God asks for something uncomfortable

The trip was our first taste of a bittersweet time like that. Back then, there were no phones where Jamie was going. We had no way to communicate for two months. It was very difficult. That phrase I came up with about it not being good for women to be alone was coined back then. It was true then and it’s true now.

But sometimes what God asks from us may not be comfortable. It can be a bittersweet time. Bitter because we may be asked to give up something but sweet when we see the reward at the end of it. We often make things bitter by our attitudes. In 1986, when Jamie was away for two months, I did not have a good attitude at all. I sulked for two months, and everyone saw it.

A bittersweet time learning a lesson

One of the reasons for Jamie’s trip was to test the waters of the mission field. When he returned, I didn’t want to even think of Africa. It wasn’t until a few months later, after God had dealt with the attitude of my heart, that my ears were open to hear the call to “go.” Like I did back then, we can sometimes prolong our progress simply by having the wrong attitude.

It was a bittersweet time for me, learning that lesson. Bitter because I only tasted my bad attitude for months. Sweet when I surrendered to God. Thinking back on those days, I was a lot like Jonah. He was a prophet who didn’t appreciate his call. He did everything to avoid it and even when he obeyed, he did so with an attitude.

More bitter to swallow

I don’t want to waste my time with bad attitudes. It creates more bitter for me to swallow. You might think we have no power to change our feelings. Well, I’ve found that the more I think on something, either positively or negatively, my attitude follows. When I don’t understand, which is often, I can easily go down the route of negativity. However, I’ve learned the lesson that I won’t fully understand most things in life. I’ve learned, and relearn daily, to trust God with my future.

So, early tomorrow morning I’m getting on a plane. I’ll be away a week. It will be a bittersweet time, but the sweet will outweigh the bitter.