"On the evening of that day, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, 'Peace be with you.' " John 20:19, ESV
Fear is a harsh master. It can push you to do things you don’t want. Fear’s twin, doubt, travels in tandem with fear. Doubt questions God’s power, plan, and love for us, and fear pushes us to act against God by pulling away from Him. Once we have gone through a few valleys in life, when optimism gives way to pessimism and our faith takes a back seat to reason, the evil twins of doubt and fear work hard to imprison us.
Doubting for fear
In the verse above, the disciples were terrified after Jesus’ death. They were sure that they would be pursued and killed, just like Jesus. They doubted His power and that He would rise again. So great was their doubt and fear that they shut themselves into a house. This was done “for fear of the Jews.” (see John 20:20) Reading this passage, I wonder what their plans, at the time they were shut in, were for the future. Since they thought that Jesus was no longer a part of their lives, would they steal out of the city? Resume living as they had before? Would the rest of their lives be lived in fear? What would they say to their families?
When they thought all was lost and no hope was to be found, Jesus miraculously appeared among them. He spoke with them, encouraged them, and even gave them a future assignment. God, in His great mercy, knowing the frailty of humanity, met the disciples in a way that would drive fear and doubt away in the blink of an eye.
Losing focus
The storms of life can cause us to lose focus and even our faith. Because finances are tight, family members may be sick or pass away, and there is trouble on the job and trouble at home, we struggle to remember God’s goodness and love. Then, it seems that all the doors of escape have been shut, and there is nothing that can bring us the relief that we are longing for. As the disciples felt, so do we; all seems lost.
These struggles with doubt and fear often come at the end of a great season. Jesus’ death came after he had spent three years ministering to people. Thousands attended his meetings. He healed untold numbers of sick people, raised the dead, and forgave sin. It was a ministry that took His world literally by storm and turned things around to the point that it put the religious leaders of the day in fear of their positions of prominence. Suddenly, Jesus was condemned to death, and a seemingly horrible defeat came on the heels of a wonderful season of victory.
What happened?
The Old Testament prophet Elijah, who seemed by all accounts to be a fearless prophet, even struggled with doubt and fear. He lived from victory to victory, apparently never fearing what the next day would bring. He prophesied (accurately) drought and rain, then saved a widow and her son from starvation, and also raised another widow’s son from the dead. And he was fearless…until an amazing victory God worked through him at Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18:20–40). At Mount Carmel, all false prophets were put to shame openly and executed when God demonstrated His power. Immediately after this event, the king’s wife, Jezebel, heard what had happened, and she made it known that she would kill Elijah. Strangely, Elijah fled for his life into the wilderness. What happened in that brief time to make this mighty, fearless man of God whimper away into the wilderness, fearful for his life?
God, in His mercy, did for Elijah as He did for the disciples when they were shut away. He spoke to Elijah (see 1 Kings 19:11–18), strengthening him and giving him a new assignment. He stepped into Elijah’s path, and met him in a way that would make all his doubt and fear evaporate.
You won’t always fail
What room have you shut yourself into? How has life made you lose your focus? When was the last time fear and doubt were far away and you lived life in fearless faith? Faith gives us the focus we need to get through those times when we’d rather sit indoors and blitz our lives away on Netflix reruns.
2024 is halfway done and you have probably had your share of trouble, just like I have. You might feel like throwing the towel in. I’m also tempted to shut the doors and fear the future. What if I lose another loved one? What if I am left alone? The twins of doubt and fear want to take up residence and keep both you and me from the best that God has for us.
“What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”
Erin Hanson
Doubt and fear pull us toward darkness, away from what is possible: light and joy. Jesus’ appearing to the disciples in their darkness assured them of their futures. They weren’t assured of lives void of pain, but they were assured of His presence and peace, no matter what pain they would encounter.
"Jesus said to them again, 'Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so, I am sending you.' ” John 20:21 ESV
An inevitable consequence
We can’t experience light if we hide in the dark. Pain is an inevitable consequence of the human experience. But God’s peace is also the inevitable consequence of His presence. How do we find His presence? It begins with intentionally looking for him. Just like we look for things that are lost, when we look for God, He makes it easy to find Him.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13 ESV
God’s presence is everywhere. We can’t hide from Him, nor has He hidden Himself from us. However, we have hidden ourselves from Him, thinking we can manage life on our own. It’s very evident that we are unable to bear the burdens of this life in isolation. God is as close to you as you allow Him to be. Are you ready to commit everything to Him and come out of your closed room?
"Where shall I go from your spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,' even the darkness is not dark to you; The night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you." Psalm 139:7–12 ESV
